We Re-unite

I come home to the festival and I see my family.  I run to them and I hug Prim first as the Mayor says, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark home!"  Her hug is the one I need most.
She speaks loud enough for everyone to hear, but I am the only one who listens. "I knew you could make it!  I knew you could win!  I missed you so much Katniss!"  I almost started to cry.  Her voice is one of the only one's that I want to hear.  Her voice is the only one that could almost bring me to tears, after all of this time in the Games.  I swallow my tears and answer her, glad to have her in my care again.
"I told you I'd try my hardest.  A promise is a promise." I let go of her and look at how much she has changed in the so little amount of time that I have been gone.  She looks like she's grown up.  Maybe she was trying to change.  Trying to be different, more grown up without me.  A part of me knows that she wasn't expecting me to come back.  I go to hug my mom and she is silent.  She has a few tears running down her face and she looks at me with a sympathetic but loving smile as we pull away from our embrace.  I greet everyone I can, give some smiles and some waves, even kiss Peeta a couple of times...the acting for everyone else has been programmed into my memory.  Of course, i have to go to Peeta's family and say a few words.  We talk for a while, and they talk about how they can't believe how much our relationship has progressed and that they think I'm a nice girl, and we just make simple talk, until I realize that i still haven't seen one person, and he's one of the people I want to see the most...Gale.  I walk away just as Peeta tries to explain that our love was a strategy for the games...right after i broke his heart.  Great timing on my part.  I go to his family and walk up to Hazelle.  "Hey, Hazelle."  I bring her into a quick embrace and then spur out, "Where's Gale?"
"He's home with the flu.  He's been doing a lot of work lately...he wasn't really feeling up to coming."  This disappointed me because I know that he wasn't sick.  I know he just didn't want to confront me after the Games...all of the "love" with Peeta...I don't think he knows that it wasn't real.
"Okay.  Thanks."  I turn around and find my mother talking to some reporters.  "Even though I think that Peeta is a very nice boy..." She gives me and Peeta glances.  "...I don't think that Katniss is old enough for a real relationship."  She takes me in with one arm and everyone starts to laugh as my face turns red.  Maybe this could turn into a good cover story of why our relationship hasn't gone that fast.
Everything is running through my mind.  I'm just glad I'm home.  Wait...am i home/  No...I'm not.  The arena is my home now.  It's something that I'll have to live every night and that I will never be able to escape. When people say welcome home, it's almost like they're lying straight to my face. My mind is all mixed up... I don't know where I belong anymore.

Remembering my Dad

I was in school.  We were in the middle of our lesson when the alarms go off.  I ran to go get Prim and she was sitting in her seat, waiting for me, like we always practiced it would go if this had ever happened.  I grabbed her hand and pulled her out through the crowd hastily, to my mom.  She told us to come to her and embraced us as she explained the fact that there had been a mine explosion.  And then I made the connection...my dad had been in the mines.  That's where he worked.  I almost ran with my mom and Prim to the mines.  I saw the mines and many families waiting for their loved ones to come free, and wishing I was one of those people who were crowded safely in their homes with their family beside them.  "Dad!" I yelled as I ran toward the mines.  Someone pushed me back and said it wasn't necessary, and they would get my dad out as soon as they could.  I gave him the evil eyes that I always used, and then i tried to give him puppy dog eyes so that he would let me through.  But he wouldn't budge.  He didn't even look into my eyes the whole time...and if he had looked, he wouldn't have seen the real pain that I was feeling anyways, standing next to him.  I went back to comfort my family.  We sat there all night, and they gave us blankets as we waited in anticipation, hoping and wishing that my father could just burst free out of the mines and say that this was all a joke.  But he never did.  Even the hot chocolate that they gave us couldn't comfort our souls, or my dad's soul.  The next morning, they came personally and told us that my father hadn't made it.  My mother and Prim embraced each other and cried.  I stood there with anger and hurt buried deep in my heart. I couldn't even react.  But it took all I had not to collapse to the floor and scream his name.  I was eleven...and I didn't have a dad anymore.
And I had to take over all of the jobs...because without me, we probably wouldn't have survived...and I'd be buried in the ground with my dad.

Interview with Caesar Flickerman

What are we going to do, Peeta? Do you know how much trouble we're in?  I'm sitting on the couch, wrapped around Peeta, not only because we are supposed to be lovers, but because I truly missed him.  Going through these past couple of days without a friend has been terrifying.  Especially after I thought that they were going to kill him, on that hovercraft that lifted us from the arena...but thank goodness, he's still alive.  I can barely talk, I don't know if I'm still in shock from being able to make it home and see Prim again, or if I'm afraid of being in front of such a big audience, or even if I'm just thinking too much...but Peeta knows exactly what to say, and that has to be more than enough.   And to be honest, I am tired of the Games, tired of the star-crossed lover act, tired of having to tell my story and show the world into my life.  Sitting here, having to talk about is is even worse.  I think about what Haymitch told me.  "Your only defense can be you were so madly in love that you couldn't control your actions..."  Was I in love? Or was I just trying to keep myself safe?  "Dont have to...he's already there."  What does he mean, he's already there?  Does he really love me?  This was just supposed to be a way of keeping us alive...and I may have killed him instead.
"When did you realize you were in love with him?" Caesar brings me back from my thoughts and I realize that I am still in the same position I was in five minutes ago.  I'm stumped on the question.  "Well, I know when it hit me.  The night that you shouted his name from that tree."  I agreed in anticipation, thankfull that Caesar pretty much just saved me.  So then Peeta and I talk with Caesar and Peeta, of course I make some kind of romantic comment, then he kisses me, as I go back into oblivion.  But then Caesar mentions Peeta's new leg, and I look down.  He has a prosthetic leg.  I didn't know until now, and Peeta says that it's his fault.  So we move on, and of course, the berries come up. 
"I don't know I just...couldn't bear the thought of...being without him," I say.  Peeta agrees.  I slip out into my mind as the program ends.  Was that enough? I walk up to Haymitch.  "Okay?"
"Perfect."

We Win The Games

I can just make out Cato with my good ear, so Peeta lets me take the arrow from his tourniquet, since that's my last.  I shoot Cato and almost imediatley, the cannon goes off.  But nothing happens.  "Hey! What's going on!" I shout to the people, knowing that all of the cameras are on me.  Peeta reccommends that we move away, so we go back to the lake.  Then Claudius Templesmith is on the speaker.  "Greetings final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games.  The earlier revision has been revoked.  Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed.  Good luck and may the odds ever be in your favor."  Suddenly, Peeta and I realize what he means.  Only one of us can win.
At first I get defensive-assuming he's going to kill me- but instead, we argue for a long time about who kills who.  I would rather die, because even though I have things to go back for, I could never really live again without that boy in my life.  But he refuses, of course.  Part ot the love game.  And I could never kill him.  Then, I think of the berries.  They have to have a victor.  This could be our only shot.  We don't have to live without eachother. I give him a handful and get one for myself.  We stuff them in our mouths and I'm almost tempted to swallow, just to save his life, but then Claudius Templesmith speaks to us-"Stop!  Stop!  Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!  I give you-the tributes of District Twelve!"  And as they pull us up into the helicopter with our wounded bodies,  I keep wishing that they'd just blown me away and saved him instead.

Peeta As My Ally

Ever since Claudius Templesmith announced the rule change in the games, I have been determined to find Peeta, and I won't stop until I do.  We could both go home, alive! And maybe, just maybe, I won't have to owe him anymore.  Or maybe I'll even have enough to owe him, when we live in the Victor's Village.  I keep yelling his name but he doesn't hear, must not hear, and doesn't respond.  I am walking and have been walking for hours but he never tells me anything.  I walk alongside the river, because he couldn't possibly survive without water, and think, what if I have already passed him and he just never said anything? What if he is about to die this very second?  I call his name again. 
"Well, don't step on me," he says in camouflage.  I tell him to close his eyes and he disappears. It is amazing.  I think of how I yelled his name last night and now, I've finally found him. 
"You know we're on the same team now," I tell him, reassuring him that he won't die. 
"So I've heard," he tells me.  "Nice of you to come find what's left of me."  And from that moment on, no matter what has happened in the past, i know we had an unspoken alliance.

Rue As My Ally

The little girl from District 11, Rue is her name, knows a lot more than I thought she would.  She is very smart with plants, but then again, when people think about District 11, they think of one thing-Agriculture.  She knows how to heal my wounds better than I ever could...and people thought I was the healer.  She was just being a nice kid when she found me, and I don't know why, seeing as she could've killed me, with the condition I was in.  So in return for her kindness, I offer her something in return: food and an alliance.  So now, while I'm walking through the woods, whistling to her, I feel desperate for her call back.  When she whistles her sweet tune, I feel as if I'm floating.  But it all ends when she gets pierced in the stomach with that spear.  And now, as I sit here and sing her a song, I think of how she reminds me of Prim so much, and I wish I could have saved her too.  But in the blink of en eye, she's already gone.

The Games Begin

I stand on my platform in the arena and on this trip, I have already met a lot of people that I am going to loose.  Haymitch.  Cinna.  Octavia, Flavius, and Venia. They're the closest thing I have to home, the closest thing I have to a family now, the only thing that I can be attached with, and now they're gone.  All because the Capitol wants to put 23 of us to the death.  So, I'll never see them again.  But, I don't really know that I can trust any of these people, especially Peeta.  He's just been trying to play the nice guy act and get on my side this whole time, just so that he can kill me.  I mean, saying that he loves me? In front of all of Panem?  Pathetic.  Just because he helped me out with an advantage doesn't mean that I can trust him.  And it's not like we can get out of here anyways, so why try now?  Now, he's shaking his head at me.  probably trying to remind me of what Haymitch said, but I don't care.  I'll do whatever I want.  I'll make a run for it.  And all of this thinking, as the bell rings, throws me off track.

I Volunteer for Prim at the Reaping

I thought that there was no way that Prim or I could even get close to picked out of the reaping ball, but i was mostly thinking of myself, and Prim's name never crossed my selfish mind.  I didn't know what else to do when her name was called except for volunteer for her.  At first, not a thought could go through my mind as I called out her name in fear and desperation.  And now, I'm on my way to the games and there is nothing that I could do to reverse this day, make what happened come undone.  Because my life is protecting Prim, and even my mother alot of the time.  Of course I wouldv'e volunteered for her.  I just wish that I could see her again...but with all of these people, specifically the Careers, there is a slim chance, if any chance at all, that I can make it out of here alive and back to her again.  And now, I have to fight against the boy who gave me the bread.  the boy who's been in school with me all of my life.  Peeta Mallark.  And i feel like I owe him, and I can't do much when I'm on my way to kill him.  I can't jusst thank him by stabbing a knife through his heart.  But I have to get back to Prim.  So I'll just steer clear of him on the train and hope that someone else kills him before I do.

Before the Reaping

I went home and my mother and Prim were waiting for me, with dinner on the table and a bath ready.  And yet, I don't really know how I feel about the reaping today.  I have a small fear about it but I don't like to show it because I have to stay strong for Prim.  And besides, there are hundreds of other people in that ball, so they couldn't possibly pick me or Prim.  My mother let me borrow her blue dress and now, even in the simple outfit, I feel that I have completley transformed from myself, for something that I don't even care about.  Besides, the capitol has been trying to slyly show the fact that they're in control and that they've always in control since the uprising in District 13.  And now they've broguht us to this.  But there's no way that they could pick me, right? I mean...my names only in the reaping ball about...20 times.  And even if i don't get picked this year, there's always next year, when I'll get entered even more. I still have a life to live and a family to take care of. Thanks alot., Capitol.  You think you're so smart by taking little girl's and boy's lives away.  But this just makes the districts despise you even more.